Wedding Planning
From day one wedding planning has been incredibly stressful for me. From the minute that I said yes when Rob asked me to Marry Him to the point where I am today has been incredibly stressful. The fact that I also have Autism does not help anything but make my anxiety worse with wedding planning. Once I said yes to marrying Rob I went through so much trying to figure out where to even begin with wedding planning!
Autism and Wedding Planning
Since I was diagnosed with Autism at age 16 or so I have struggled with my Autism, and my anxiety. So, when I realized that I was getting married so many things flooded my mind like there is so much to be done, there is so many people I must meet, and talk to, and agree to contracts with, and that paralyzed me. However, I had to learn to over come my fears of not being accepted for being different so that was hard for me! However, in the end I learned that all it took was finding my voice and using it. So, the fear of not having what I wanted or people not understanding me due to being different was shut down quickly by finding my voice, and I do not feel as bad as I did when I first started wedding planning.
Finding My Venue
When we first started wedding planning my parents Maryjane and Thomas Fanizzi started looking on Google Explorer with me, and they stumbled upon Miltown Historic District in beautiful New Braunfels. Texas, I fell in love with the venue online. So, a few months later my parents came to New Braunfels, Texas to relocate our family yet again after being gone for a few years back in Dayton, Ohio. My parents were able to tour my venue, and we all fell in love. After a few months my Fiance Rob Chaney, and I got here to Texas, and we toured the venue, and week new it was the one. So, my mom, and dad helped us pay for the whole wedding, and we booked our venue.
Finding My Dress
So my mom and my sister asked me to look at Dresses at David’s Bridal, and we were able to find my dress on the first attempt. However, I do love it but sometimes I wish it had more glitter! If I could redo it, I would go to Brides by Elizabeth in San Antonio where I found a dress I absolutely love. All my life I have had a hard time with my weight due to Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, so I have a hard feeling beautiful in anything.
Finding MY planner
After a few months had gone by I was becoming more anxious with wedding planning, and I wanted help. I met my wedding planner Marcy Noyce for Lunch at a restaurant, and we became best friends! Marcy has been a lifesaver, and she has helped me plan mostly everything that was left for my wedding. Having a wedding planner is the best option specially to take the stress from the bride, and the groom, and the brides family. There are many options when it comes to wedding planners like Day of, month of, a few months before, or all out. We chose a full planner, and it has been the best thing that ever happened to me.
The rest of my wedding journey so far
The rest of my wedding journey so far has been nice I was able to find my bridesmaids, secure the catering team, the DJ, the Band, and more. For me I believe it is all about Communication with your Wedding Planner and making sure that you voice what you want as the bride. I think it’s also important to follow your planners time schedule and communicating with the planner on what has been achieved. That way the day of the wedding you, and your coordinator know that everything has been achieved and that you as the bride has the most amazing day of your life.
Food Tasting
Food tasting is the most important thing when it comes to the wedding, I know that a lot of brides do it by website searching, or they get deals to book today but it is most crucial that you actually attend a tasting with your coordinator to make sure you enjoy the food your getting at the actual wedding, and that there is no issues the day of the wedding.
cake tasting
I first started caking tasting last year I went through several shops before I found Rhonda at Cakes Couture in New Braunfels Texas. Rob and I tasted with her several times and fell in love. After several tastings we decided to contract with them, so I guess what I am saying is make sure you do not rush with cake tasting and find the perfect cake place for your special day!
Photography, DJ, Band, and More
So when it comes to photography, Band, DJ, And other choices this is where I really had to think about what I wanted! I knew my best friend David Russell had a band that I wanted so I decided to have them, and then his friend had a DJ, so I got 2 for 1! Then when it came to photography, I had to think quality vs quantity. So I went with a high priced photographer so we get the quality that we wanted. For us our wedding is Christmas themed so we decided to add on a Santa and Mrs Claus, and a few other things in order to make our wedding special. So my advice is make sure that the important things are contracted first, then ask your planner what is left in your budget before adding anything else special into the wedding.
Budgeting, and Decorations
So for me when I first started looking at wedding decorations and supplies my brain went into smart mode, and I started looking at marketplace on Facebook. I FOUND a lot of what I needed for my wedding on there, and I saved money. I also shopped right after Christmas was over as the sales are amazing. For me, it’s hard to stay within budget because I want everything I see. I had to work with my mom, and my planner Marcy to not go over my budget without permission.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen outfits
Since day 1 I was struggling to figure out how to make my bridesmaids and groomsmen agree to outfits, after much hustle and bustle I was able to ask them what they wanted to do. When we reviewed their responses our girls, and guys wanted a few dresses, and tuxes to choose from and decided from there. They were able to successfully chose their outfits. So, I say the best way to make this easy is to give them a few choices, and then let them decided that way you avoid any drama, or issues.
Booking Hotels + Transportation
For me I was nervous about the booking of hotels, transportation, and more. For the wedding party we got a cabin our venue property! For the rest I decided to book or two close by to the venue. At the end of the night, I will have a list of who is going where, and I will call them off to make sure they either head to their cabin or get in their limo or shuttle to the close by hotel. It took the stress away for me, and it will make the end of the night a breeze.
Thank you, gifts, for the Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen.
When it came to thank you gifts, I had a hard time deciding on what to get for my girls, and guys but I decided on tumblers with Christmas decorations, and shirts for the girls to get ready in. There were so many options that I did not know what to do at first. My advice start early on these and keep your options open.
Wedding save the dates and invitations.
When it came to save the dates and invitations rob and I found someone who will be designing our things for us from scratch. However, etsy and other sources can also be a great idea depending on your budget.
Attending Wedding Shows
For rob and I it was important for us to attend open houses at wedding venues, or bridal shows so that way we could see what was out there and meet some vendors that we may not have known about. We actually met many helpful vendors like a realtor, and many more that are helping us build our lives towards the future, So if you have time I suggest you attend as many open houses or wedding shows that you can before your special day!
Wedding Registry- Wedding website
For me I decided not to have a wedding website because my bridesmaids didn’t want it! However Zola is great as you put your names the girls, the groomsmen, parents etc, the location, times, the registry and everything in one place. However, I decided to only do an amazon registry, and I believe that it is good enough!
Honeymoon
For rob and I we have talked about several options for honeymoon like Disney world, a cruise, a water park, and grand ole opry in Nashville. We have not decided on a honeymoon. My advice is keep your options open and hear each other’s ideas and conclude together. Also make sure you book it early.
Making sure that your special day goes on without stress.
So my best advice that I can offer for day of is make sure that you arrive to your venue early enough to get ready, and be to your ceremony on time. Also make sure that you listen to your wedding planner as they will help you stay on track, and on time. Last but not least enjoy your special day!
New Year’s Resolution
Happy New Year to all my Followers, and Clients! I hope everyone’s New year is off to a great start! I know mine is going well! I had to think about what my New Years Resolution was going to be! It took me a few weeks but something that kept coming up that I had failed at multiple times was giving up soda! So, there was my New Year’s Resolution! I quit soda for a few reasons!
Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome
When I was 12 to 13, I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (pcos) A hormonal disorder causing enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges. Due to PCOS it makes it hard to conceive, lose weight, and keep it off, and much more. PCOS is a condition that affects a woman’s hormone levels. Women with PCOS produce higher-than-normal amounts of male hormones. For me I have gotten more then I wanted with PCOS including Hair on my face, skipped periods, then heavy periods, and more. So, for me this was one of the reasons why I wanted to quit soda to help manage my PCOS. The other reason why I wanted to quit soda was so when I am ready to conceive, I should be healthier, and not have to worry so much about being high risk. Finally, I felt like drinking soda was also causing my weight gain and making it harder to lose weight with my PCOS, so that was my last reason for giving up soda!
What are the causes of PCOS?
The cause of polycystic ovary syndrome is not well understood but may involve a combination of genetic and environmental factors. The causes for me were determined to be genetics.
What are the symptoms of PCOS?
Symptoms include menstrual irregularity, excess hair growth, acne, and obesity. For me I started realizing the Acne, hair growth, painful periods, and obesity when I was around 16 years old. I decided to ask my pediatrician to test me for it, and it came back positive. So for me I knew I had it but for others they may not realize that they have PCOS.
What are the treatments for PCOS?
Treatments include birth control pills to regularize periods, a medication called metformin to prevent diabetes, statins to control high cholesterol, hormones to increase fertility, and procedures to remove excess hair. However, it’s not just about Birth control pills, metformin, statins, hormones, and procedures to remove excess hair. Its about healthy eating, exercise, and other treatments as well. For myself my mom MJ brought a new medication to my attention called slynd. I am working with my family doctor to start this medication in order to help my weight loss along. At first, I was on phentermine to lose weight, but It was not doing anything. So, with this new medication, healthy eating, and no soda but instead water, and crystal light I hope to take care of my PCOS in a safer way.
My Life with PCOS
So like I said I was diagnosed with PCOS at age 16, and when I was first diagnosed with PCOS I had to learn about my diagnosis. When I learned more about it, I realized that I would have the hair growth, the long painful periods, the missed periods, the hard time concieving, and more. To me it was a shock! However, I learned to live with it! However, the periods have become so painful, and the hair growth is hard to keep up with. So, I wish I never would have been diagnosed with PCOS.
What is my next step with PCOS after the Soda Challenge ends?
My next step after completing the 30 day no soda challenge is to come up with a healthy eating challenge! I would like to create a menu of healthy alternatives and cut back on eating out so much. I feel like by eating healthier and cutting out the soda that I can lose weight even easier. I would love my fiancé’ rob to join me but that’s not always what he wants to do! Either way I am making the changes that I want to for my life, and my health!
9th Blog
Hey y’all so here we are the 9th blog Thank you to all of my subscribers, followers, and friends, and family for continuing to stay on this journey with me. Thank you to my Fiancé Rob, my parents Maryjane& Thomas Fanizzi, thank you to my sister Clare Fanizzi, my speaking Coach Mike Ellerkamp, and my coach Brandon Wilson for teaching me , guiding me, supporting me, loving me, and for believing in me. Without all of you my dreams would never have come true.
How I got started
About a year ago I created my inspirational page, and I never thought I would get this far into inspirational speaking so I’m blessed. I think what truly got me started on speaking was the fact that my whole life elementary school to high school graduation I was bullied. So being bullied I wanted an escape to feel better, but I never thought my writing would take me this far. However giving back to my community and others who are going through hard times through my writing is special to me.
My main focus
My main focus of my inspirational speaking is Autism Awareness, and special needs. However I like to blog, and talk about many different topics. So I can provide any topics that my clients need as long as I’m given ample time to prepare. I hope to become the speaker all clients want.
My journey so far!
My journey so far has been unique I have been blogging, doing my live videos, networking, and so much more. I started this journey a year ago, and I never thought I would get this far. I am working on writing and editing my three children’s books, doing focused lives on Autism & Us, and so much more. I feel good about how far I’ve gotten this year, and I am excited to see where the next year takes me.
Future plans
My future plans for my company are to continue to work on growing my company. My plans are to continue blogging, doing my live videos, and focusing on some new ideas like podcasting, and working with new connections. I would also like to start working on getting local speaking engagements booked. Finally I would like to continue working on publishing my children’s stories.
What I want to grow on
In the next few years there’s so much I want to grow on. I want to learn about podcasting and grow into doing some inspirational podcasts. I also want to continue to coach with my speaking coach Mike Ellerkamp in order to continue to reach my goals of becoming a professional inspirational speaker, and attend speaking events. Finally I want to continue to coach with my other coach Brandon Wilson on finishing my children’s stories.
What viewers want to see and hear !
In order to make my speaking events and blogs engaging, I need my viewers to help me decide what topics besides the one I’ve done and typed about so together we can be successful. I try to post engaging posts and videos on my page at least once a week. Make sure that you also look out for new blog alerts. Please feel free to message me any topics you want reviewed or any questions you may have.
Wrapping it up!
Again thank you to all my supporters, my coaches, my parents, my fiancé, and everyone for all the love and support. Without all of you none of this would be possible. I look forward to continuing my journey forward with all of you. I hope that you all enjoy my videos, blogs, podcasts, and inspirational coaching.
Covid 19 Masks & Testing Autism
Masks
So many autism parents that I know are asking about the mask procedures for their children with autism. Some of the issues that I witnessed with being autistic while wearing a mask are our sensory levels are higher due to being sensitive to the touch of the mask on our faces causing us to be anxious. The unpleasant sensation of having the mask on is caused by the scratchy fabrics, and the elastic ear pieces. Finally by wearing a mask, and being autistic the mask can lead to poor visual perception skills. Some of the poor visual perception skills include breathing through the nose being restrictive, difficulty making eye contact, and verbal communication barriers due to the mask being worn.
How To Help
Some ways that parents can help teach their child about wearing their mask is by showing the child the mask on a stuffed animal, family member, or doll and explain why it’s important to wear the mask. The parents can offer their child to try on different masks or fabric styles to see what’s most comfortable. Some ways that parents can teach their kiddos to keep their masks on is by taking their children to the store, and seeing how long they can keep their masks on. A tip that I was told about to make the air return feel better inside the mask is by chewing gum, or sucking on a hard candy with the mask on will make wearing the mask more pleasant.
Covid Hardships
Some of the hardships of wearing a mask with Autism are it causes distress for people with ASD due to discomfort, unfamiliarity, and change of routine. Some ways to help your kiddo to prepare for the Covid test are to show visual aids about the test beforehand, also practice with a q-tip on a doll, stuffed animal, or person. Make sure to select a comfortable and familiar location to have the test done. Before leaving for the test make sure to pack some comfort items like a blanket, doll, sippy cup, bottle, or pacifier. Right before you leave watch a video of the test to prepare the child on what to expect and answer any questions they may have.
My Mask Experience
So when I first found out about wearing the mask I wasn’t excited because of my Autism. Not only my Autism, also my Asthma. So having to wear a mask isn’t easy for me so I wasn’t happy about the changes. The CDC recommended that those of us who had asthma shouldn’t wear a mask so between that, and Autism I thought I would be exempt so I got excited, however that wasn’t true. So after learning that I would have to wear a mask due to being high risk I decided to find my friend Jen who was making masks to see what fabrics she had. Jen had Autism fabric in puzzle pieces , and my new favorite paw patrol. So jen and I talked and I had four masks made two for me, and two for my fiancé. Once I picked up our masks I tried the ear strings, and I didn’t like them so then I tried my relief strap around my head it was just ok! However to me wearing the mask makes me feel suffocated, and anxious sso due to my Autism, and Anxiety I have to take breaks to breathe. Learning to wear my mask out in public is still hard for me so we try to stay home when we can. However since I’m a teacher and I’m on the front lines I have to wear a mask all day so this be an adjustment. I think having to wear one is important but if I had a choice I wouldn’t wear it. The best advice I can give about wearing the mask is Practice Makes Perfect.
Covid Testing
My experience with Covid testing was anything but pleasant. I woke up on Tuesday June 23rd. 2020 with possible COVID symptoms. I had to call urgent care for an appointment. When we arrived at the doctor we had to call to say that we had arrived, we were greeted outside where we had to fill out paperwork that’s when we were told that I had to be tested for Covid. I was taken out of the car for the Covid test the doctor mostly pinned me against my fiancés car, and threw my head back against the car, and attempted to get my test done. The doctor didn’t even ask if I was special needs or anything. After three failed attempts with me screaming bloody murder, and crying asking him to stop he wouldn’t. So on the fourth attempt my fiancé Rob got out of the car held my hand, and angled me correctly, softly talked to me, and we were able to get the test done. After the test we had to wait twenty minutes to go inside to be seen for a sinus, and double ear infection. The doctor gave me Cefdinir and we were on our way home.
What Needs To Change
In my opinion after a bad experience with the Covid test and being special needs I believe for the test day the doctor performing the test should offer the child to lay down on an exam table to distract them from the test. The children’s parents or guardians should be able to provide the child with a comfort item like a stuffed animal, blanket, sippy cup, bottle, pacifier or a weighted blanket. Also I believe that the parent. Or guardian should be able to stay with the child. Once the test is over the performing doctor should provide the child with a sticker or reward to reinforce positive behavior.
Autism &US
A few months ago I came across this group called Autism & US which is a 501c (3) non profit organization parent/ caregiver support group that focuses on Autism Awareness by allowing parents, caregivers, educators, therapists, coaches, caseworkers. Medical workers or those who are on the spectrum themselves to receive, and provide support to bring awareness to Autism. This amazing group was founded by La Bonita Dawson or as we call her Nita, and Co Founded by Vice President Linda Garite. When I first joined the group I was automatically welcomed which made me feel great. As an autism behavioral technician (RBT) I wanted a group where I was not only learning more about the field I am working in but a group where I could give, and receive advice as well. As the months went on I reached out to Nita to learn about Focused Lives, and I completed my first Focus Live a few months ago. Now that I am vetted by Nita and Linda I try to complete a Focus Live once a month, and participate in the group as much as I can. Not only are we a family in the group but Linda & Nita just started a book club which is based on Autism. Right now we are reading a book called “The Reason I Jump” By Naoki Higashida translated by David Mitchell. You can find the group on Face book and at autismandus.org
Autism On The Seas
Autism on the seas is an international organization in collaboration with Royal Caribbean international since 2007. This group developed cruise vacation services to accommodate adults and families living with children or adults with special needs ranging from Autism, Aspergers, Down syndrome, Tourettes, Cerebral Palsy, and all cognitive intellectual and developmental disabilities. This group provides respite care, and private activities/ sessions. You receive expedited boarding/ embarkation, private muster drills, breakfast/ lunch/ dinner seating, private venue sessions, reserved show seating, and more. To find out more information go to autismontheseas.com
Testimonials
Some of the testimonials that I have seen for Autism on the Seas are truly amazing. Since I can’t give one yet I will borrow some testimonials from Autism on the Seas, and paste them below, and cite them. I hope that these testimonials help your family to make a choice to book a cruise this year. I will give my testimonial once I get to go on autism on the seas cruise with my love one year. Enjoy your cruise!
#AutismontheSeas – From Terra Marquette, cruised August 2019: “We had an amazing time! Eric still smiles when we talk of the cruise and his fabulous birthday celebration. We all made so many friends and felt so loved! It’s definitely something we want to do again. Thank you, Autism on the Seas!”
#AutismontheSeas – From Christine Lewis, AotS Volunteer Staff, Aug 2019: “Pool time and Dinner time are two of my favorite activities on Autism on the Seas Cruises! Giving kids and their parents time to relax and reconnect is our goal. Seeing families laughing and enjoying their time together makes volunteering and supporting kids as they step outside of their comfort zone, try new activities and make new friends is what it’s all about!”
How do I expect the cruise to go?
I do plan on doing an Autism on the Seas cruise eventually with my babe. I think rob could use the help with me on board but if I get over stimulated we can ask for time alone. So now that I looked up the adult side the staff provide us with customized activities like karaoke, dance parties, board games, group shore excursions, and more. They also provide private adult events and activities like venues. During meals we with special needs are exempt from dress code, and can wear whatever we want. Autism On The Seas provides staff assistance at all meals. You also get priority boarding/ embarkation.
What I would do!
I think having the help with me would be great! We would use the staff as much as we can minus the beach parties they reserve. I prefer to stay back on the ship go to the shops, go in the pool, or the hot tub, get Shirley temples, and relax. I think we would take advantage of the respite activities so I could de- stimulate, and relax in between activities. I think it would also be nice to attend private events like shows, water slides, meals, and more.
Autism Resources Disney World
So before I completely end this blog I was looking at Disney Accommodations for Autism, and yes they provide accommodations to! Some of the accommodations they provide are advanced ticket purchase, strollers, and wheelchairs, rider switch, accessing attractions with fast pass, break areas, companion restrooms, and dietary restrictions. Some tips to help y’all prepare for your Disney trip are to plan a visual schedule for your kiddo, watch videos of Disney, study locations to meet up at parks, study location maps, and practice lining up in order to make your Disney trip successful.
Important things to bring!
Some important things to bring to the cruise or to Disney world are a safety bracelet or nametag, ear plugs, or headphones, a favorite device or activity, reinforcers for good behavior, and a sensory toy. Also if your child has any medical conditions a medical alert bracelet is important to have your kiddo wear. Don’t forget to bring a comfort item like a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, sippy cup, bottle or other items. Finally don’t forget the weighted blanket for the bed so your kiddo sleeps well.
Wrapping it up!
Anyway y’all my inspiration for Autism Awareness is Huge! Being and Autism Behavior Technician (RBT), and having Autism myself makes Autism special , near and dear to my heart. So I hope that you enjoyed learning about Autism and Us, Autism on the Seas, and Autism resources at Disney World. These groups are a huge benefit to the families with special needs. I hope that you will come join us on Autism and Us, and that you enjoy the benefits of Autism on the Seas, and that you take advantage of the Disney World Resources and book your trips today!
Citations
Bowser, N. (2020, May 15). Home. Retrieved July 01, 2020, from https://autismandus.org/
User, S. (n.d.). Angels on the Seas. Retrieved July 01, 2020, from https://autismontheseas.com/
Services for Guests with Cognitive Disabilities. (n.d.). Retrieved July 01, 2020, from https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/guest-services/cognitive-disabilities-services/
