From day one wedding planning has been incredibly stressful for me. From the minute that I said yes when Rob asked me to Marry Him to the point where I am today has been incredibly stressful. The fact that I also have Autism does not help anything but make my anxiety worse with wedding planning. Once I said yes to marrying Rob I went through so much trying to figure out where to even begin with wedding planning!
Autism and Wedding Planning
Since I was diagnosed with Autism at age 16 or so I have struggled with my Autism, and my anxiety. So, when I realized that I was getting married so many things flooded my mind like there is so much to be done, there is so many people I must meet, and talk to, and agree to contracts with, and that paralyzed me. However, I had to learn to over come my fears of not being accepted for being different so that was hard for me! However, in the end I learned that all it took was finding my voice and using it. So, the fear of not having what I wanted or people not understanding me due to being different was shut down quickly by finding my voice, and I do not feel as bad as I did when I first started wedding planning.
Finding My Venue
When we first started wedding planning my parents Maryjane and Thomas Fanizzi started looking on Google Explorer with me, and they stumbled upon Miltown Historic District in beautiful New Braunfels. Texas, I fell in love with the venue online. So, a few months later my parents came to New Braunfels, Texas to relocate our family yet again after being gone for a few years back in Dayton, Ohio. My parents were able to tour my venue, and we all fell in love. After a few months my Fiance Rob Chaney, and I got here to Texas, and we toured the venue, and week new it was the one. So, my mom, and dad helped us pay for the whole wedding, and we booked our venue.
Finding My Dress
So my mom and my sister asked me to look at Dresses at David’s Bridal, and we were able to find my dress on the first attempt. However, I do love it but sometimes I wish it had more glitter! If I could redo it, I would go to Brides by Elizabeth in San Antonio where I found a dress I absolutely love. All my life I have had a hard time with my weight due to Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome, so I have a hard feeling beautiful in anything.
Finding MY planner
After a few months had gone by I was becoming more anxious with wedding planning, and I wanted help. I met my wedding planner Marcy Noyce for Lunch at a restaurant, and we became best friends! Marcy has been a lifesaver, and she has helped me plan mostly everything that was left for my wedding. Having a wedding planner is the best option specially to take the stress from the bride, and the groom, and the brides family. There are many options when it comes to wedding planners like Day of, month of, a few months before, or all out. We chose a full planner, and it has been the best thing that ever happened to me.
The rest of my wedding journey so far
The rest of my wedding journey so far has been nice I was able to find my bridesmaids, secure the catering team, the DJ, the Band, and more. For me I believe it is all about Communication with your Wedding Planner and making sure that you voice what you want as the bride. I think it’s also important to follow your planners time schedule and communicating with the planner on what has been achieved. That way the day of the wedding you, and your coordinator know that everything has been achieved and that you as the bride has the most amazing day of your life.
Food tasting is the most important thing when it comes to the wedding, I know that a lot of brides do it by website searching, or they get deals to book today but it is most crucial that you actually attend a tasting with your coordinator to make sure you enjoy the food your getting at the actual wedding, and that there is no issues the day of the wedding.
I first started caking tasting last year I went through several shops before I found Rhonda at Cakes Couture in New Braunfels Texas. Rob and I tasted with her several times and fell in love. After several tastings we decided to contract with them, so I guess what I am saying is make sure you do not rush with cake tasting and find the perfect cake place for your special day!
Photography, DJ, Band, and More
So when it comes to photography, Band, DJ, And other choices this is where I really had to think about what I wanted! I knew my best friend David Russell had a band that I wanted so I decided to have them, and then his friend had a DJ, so I got 2 for 1! Then when it came to photography, I had to think quality vs quantity. So I went with a high priced photographer so we get the quality that we wanted. For us our wedding is Christmas themed so we decided to add on a Santa and Mrs Claus, and a few other things in order to make our wedding special. So my advice is make sure that the important things are contracted first, then ask your planner what is left in your budget before adding anything else special into the wedding.
Budgeting, and Decorations
So for me when I first started looking at wedding decorations and supplies my brain went into smart mode, and I started looking at marketplace on Facebook. I FOUND a lot of what I needed for my wedding on there, and I saved money. I also shopped right after Christmas was over as the sales are amazing. For me, it’s hard to stay within budget because I want everything I see. I had to work with my mom, and my planner Marcy to not go over my budget without permission.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen outfits
Since day 1 I was struggling to figure out how to make my bridesmaids and groomsmen agree to outfits, after much hustle and bustle I was able to ask them what they wanted to do. When we reviewed their responses our girls, and guys wanted a few dresses, and tuxes to choose from and decided from there. They were able to successfully chose their outfits. So, I say the best way to make this easy is to give them a few choices, and then let them decided that way you avoid any drama, or issues.
Booking Hotels + Transportation
For me I was nervous about the booking of hotels, transportation, and more. For the wedding party we got a cabin our venue property! For the rest I decided to book or two close by to the venue. At the end of the night, I will have a list of who is going where, and I will call them off to make sure they either head to their cabin or get in their limo or shuttle to the close by hotel. It took the stress away for me, and it will make the end of the night a breeze.
Thank you, gifts, for the Bridesmaids, and Groomsmen.
When it came to thank you gifts, I had a hard time deciding on what to get for my girls, and guys but I decided on tumblers with Christmas decorations, and shirts for the girls to get ready in. There were so many options that I did not know what to do at first. My advice start early on these and keep your options open.
Wedding save the dates and invitations.
When it came to save the dates and invitations rob and I found someone who will be designing our things for us from scratch. However, etsy and other sources can also be a great idea depending on your budget.
Attending Wedding Shows
For rob and I it was important for us to attend open houses at wedding venues, or bridal shows so that way we could see what was out there and meet some vendors that we may not have known about. We actually met many helpful vendors like a realtor, and many more that are helping us build our lives towards the future, So if you have time I suggest you attend as many open houses or wedding shows that you can before your special day!
Wedding Registry- Wedding website
For me I decided not to have a wedding website because my bridesmaids didn’t want it! However Zola is great as you put your names the girls, the groomsmen, parents etc, the location, times, the registry and everything in one place. However, I decided to only do an amazon registry, and I believe that it is good enough!
For rob and I we have talked about several options for honeymoon like Disney world, a cruise, a water park, and grand ole opry in Nashville. We have not decided on a honeymoon. My advice is keep your options open and hear each other’s ideas and conclude together. Also make sure you book it early.
Making sure that your special day goes on without stress.
So my best advice that I can offer for day of is make sure that you arrive to your venue early enough to get ready, and be to your ceremony on time. Also make sure that you listen to your wedding planner as they will help you stay on track, and on time. Last but not least enjoy your special day!